


Wish I Was the One

by allaboutthebooz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-09-14 06:12:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16907628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allaboutthebooz/pseuds/allaboutthebooz
Summary: Join the reader and the boys on a whirlwind of emotions and adventure. Something’s happening with Dean, leaving Sam and the reader to figure things out. Not only with what is happening with Dean, but between them as well. Can you save Dean, before he does something he will regret? Will they be able to sort through their feelings for each other? Only time will tell.





	1. I Wish You Could See

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Marina and the Diamonds acoustic version of ‘Lies.’ I planned for it to go one way and it went another. This started as a One-Shot, but turned into a twelve part series. This was one of the first things I had ever posted or created. I'm sure it will be dull in some spots, but the end result makes me proud.
> 
> This is a reader-insert fic. Most of my work is reader-insert, unless otherwise requested.
> 
> Please enjoy! Feedback is gold!

Y/N watched for the fourth time this week as he left with another random girl. A girl whose name he would forget, as soon as he pushed her out the door. She watched as he turned back to give her and his brother a shit eating grin and a thumbs up. With pursed lips and a sad roll of her eyes, she brings her drink to her lips. Remembering when that used to be her. The lucky girl, who’s room he used to sneak into, after his brother was asleep. Remember how he used to make her feel. Remembering how he used to look at her. Remembering how he broke her heart, while she put on a brave and understanding face.

It used to be the same thing every week. Her, Sam, and Dean would roll into a new town for another case. They would get settled into their rooms before heading to the local bar for food and drinks. They used to play some pool before heading back to dive into their research. Her and Dean stealing glances when Sam wasn’t paying attention. The subtle touches between turns. Leaving her motel room door unlocked and getting in the shower, while she waited for him to join her. The feel of his skin on hers. The sweet whispers of promises that would be broken.

It’s different, now. When they reach a new town, they follow the same routine. Except this time, it leaves Y/N feeling broken as she watches Dean leave to add another notch in his belt. She’s too busy watching Dean to realize that his brother is watching her. Watching as the light in her eyes dims a little more as she watches Dean leave with another women. Wishing he could help her. Wishing he could show her how he feels. Wishing he could take her mind off Dean.

Sam’s not blind. He knew they had something going on. They were happy, and he didn’t care if they didn’t tell him. He never said anything, even if it broke his own heart. All he wanted was for them to be happy. He doesn’t know what happened, he just knows something did. One night they were okay, but by the next morning they both were distant and quiet. Only speaking to each other when they needed to. Again, Sam never said anything. He tried his best to make Y/N smile, the way she used to.

Over time, it did return. Things were going back to normal, between the three of them. Conversation flowed easier, the jokes and pranks resumed, and the laughter was better. Sam thought everything was okay, until he saw Dean leave with the first woman. He saw the disappointment fill Y/N. He saw her put on a mask and acting like she was okay with what was happening.

Now, as he watches her, he decides they should finish up and go back to her motel room. He and Dean used to share a room, but lately his brother has been more adventurous with his escapades, so Y/N has been offering to share her rooms. The only thing is that, there is one bed. A bed, that they share. Sam has tried to sleep on the floor, but she won’t let him. ‘You shouldn’t have to suffer, because your brother’s a dick. I have no problem sharing with you. As long as you aren’t uncomfortable sharing with me.’ Why they never decide to get the room with two beds, is never discussed. Sam never argues or complains.

When they get back to the room, Y/N heads to the bathroom to get ready for bed and Sam sits on the bed and flips through the channels until he finds a black and white movie. He settles himself against the headboard to watch the film. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the bathroom door open. He shifts his attention and sees Y/N brushing her teeth, while staring at herself in the mirror. He can tell she’s doubting herself. Wondering why she’s not good enough. Wondering what she can do to change Dean’s mind. Wondering how much longer she can deal with the suffering.

She rinses her mouth out, washes her hands, cuts the bathroom light off, and walks over to her duffel bag in the corner of the room to deposit her dirty clothes. All the while, Sam is still watching her.

“They’re playing your favorite Audrey Hepburn movie.” He tells her, turning his attention back to the television.

“Sabrina?” Y/N asks, turning to look for herself. A small smile of excitement appearing on her face, “I can’t believe it. It’s been so long since I’ve seen it. So long, that I can’t believe you remember it’s my favorite.” She walks over to the bed, shifting her smile and eyes to him for a moment, before settling herself next to him on the bed and pulling the blankets over her legs.

Deciding that it’s his turn to get ready for bed, he stands up and walks over to his own bag in the corner. “Of course, I remember. You used to always talk about it. I don’t know how many times, I would walk past your room at the bunker and find you watching it.” He gathers his stuff and heads to the bathroom. His back facing her the whole time. Missing her following him with her eyes until he disappears behind the bathroom door, before returning her attention back to the television in front of her and settling beneath the covers.

About twenty minutes later, Sam opens the door and cuts the light out. He starts to walk towards his stuff but stops when he sees Y/N snuggled down into the covers and had fallen asleep. He looks at the tv and notices it’s just to the part where Linus and Sabrina are reunited on the cruise ship. He smiles a small smile, before putting his stuff inside of his bag, cutting off the lights, crawling into bed beside her, and turning off the tv.

He rolls to face her. Taking a moment to watch her. The moonlight, shining through the curtains, creating a nice glow in the room. Giving Sam enough light to see Y/N’s soft features. Seeing how peaceful she looked while she slept. Seeing how all her worries are forgotten. The crease between her eyebrows, eased. She was beautiful, and his brother was an idiot. Making her suffer every night. Making her believe she wasn’t good enough.

He wishes he could make her see just how beautiful she is. Wishes he could tell her how he feels. How his heart was broken, the first time that he woke up to hear how Dean was making her feel. How he had to accept that he wasn’t the one making her feel that way. How he feels to know he isn’t the one she thought about. How he wishes he could kiss her and make her smile, the way she used to.

He tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “You are perfect. You’re too good for him. When he realizes it, it’ll be too late.” He whispers in the dark, before turning onto his back and letting himself fall asleep. Dreaming of a life with her. A life he knows they will never have.


	2. I Wish I Didn't Let You Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to look like they are changing for Dean, Sam, and Y/N. Will she finally see what’s been right in front of her? Will Dean realize what he has been doing?

Y/N woke up to the feeling of the Impala coming to a stop. She sat up from her makeshift bed, in the backseat, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. As Sam and Dean climbed out of Baby, she gathered her jacket and bookbag. Once both feet were on the cemented ground, she stretched up onto her toes and allowed it to continue through her body with a satisfied groan. Y/N looks around with tired eyes and a small smile on her lips. Nothing felt better, after being on the road for a few weeks, then to see the garage of the Bunker they called home. Well, except maybe a homecooked meal and her own bed.

Hearing the trunk open, she walks around to join the guys. Helping to gather their respective duffle bags full of dirty clothes and weapons that needed a good cleaning. Following Dean to the door, with Sam close behind. “Home sweet home, boys.” Y/N says, “I vote that we don’t take another case for a while. I love Baby, but I can’t be stuck in the backseat looking at the back of your heads anymore.”

Sam huffs a laugh. “At least, you have plenty of room to stretch out, try sitting up front and trying to sleep.”

“No one told you to be eleven feet tall, Sam. It’s not my fault that Chuck graced me with my average height.” She says, walking past them and into her room.

“Says the girl, who can’t reach the top shelf without climbing onto the counters!” Dean calls after her, receiving a classy middle finger in response.

“You do know it’s her turn to cook tonight. She’s going to spit in your food.” Sam tells him, laughing as he sees the look of disbelief grow on his brother’s face.

“She wouldn’t.” Deans says looking over at Sam. Only getting the raised eyebrows and slight turn of the head. “Would she?” He asks, beginning to panic. “She wouldn’t do that, Sam…Yeah she would. Son of a bitch.”

Sam just laughs as he heads to his own room. Passing Y/n’s room on the way, he sees her unpacking all her clothes and tossing them into her laundry basket, while humming a song she’s heard a million times. Looking down at his feet and smiling slightly, he continued to his room next door.

~~

Ingredients spread across the counter tops in the kitchen, Y/N’s ‘Guilty Pleasures’ playlist coming through the Bluetooth speakers, and her bare feet moving around the cold kitchen floor as she cooked were a sight any man could get used to. In fact, two already have. They can’t remember when the Bunker became so full of life, but they were happy that it did. They might not remember when it became this way, but they remember when it was cold and quiet. Just the two of them, with the occasional angel in a trench coat popping in.

Y/N made life a little easier for boys. She always made sure they ate, had clean clothes, and have gotten a few hours of sleep. They never asked for it to be that way, it was just how it was having a woman living with them. Y/N liked taking care of them. She liked knowing that they were okay, that they had everything they needed. Doing their laundry, because she knew that Dean would wear the same thing every day if he was given the chance. They used to eat A LOT of take out before she moved in. Now if they are home, she makes sure every meal is eaten at home and it’s freshly made. Dean grumbled a bit, but once he realized how much better a homemade burger with bacon tasted, he never complained again. Sam, who always tried to eat a little healthier when they were out, was happy to cut back on going out for food when they wanted to eat. Now his diet was less restricted to grilled chicken and lettuce.

Dean and Sam were in the War Room on their respective laptops, when they heard her bare feet moving towards them. Dean was the first to look up. Seeing her walk into the room, eyes on the ground, wearing her favorite band shirt-that was so worn, it was getting a little holey, and a pair of black jeans that were rolled up past her ankles. Her hair, aside from her bangs, pulled out of her face in two messy buns on top of her head. He almost gets up to meet her half way to pull her to him and he’s reminded that he can’t. He’s the one who ended things with her. He’s the one who ‘wanted to move on and expand his horizons with others.’ Dumbass. Looking at her now, he’s hating himself.

As she moves her head up, he quickly looks back at his computer screen. Pretending like he hadn’t been watching her. “Dinner’s almost ready.” She says, pulling out a chair and settling herself next to Sam, who finally turns his attention to her.

“Should Dean be worried?” Sam asks while sending an amused look his brother’s way.

“Not tonight. I didn’t feel like making two separate dishes.” Y/N responds while joining in on the teasing. All Dean does in return is make a mocking face, causing the other two to laugh.

She leans towards Sam to see what he was working. “Please don’t tell me you found another case. We just got home. There is already a ton of laundry to do.” Y/N groans while resting her chin on his shoulder. Allowing Sam to get a better smell of her sweet perfume.

Clearing his throat, he says, “No this one isn’t for us. It’s for Garth. He’s closer to it than we are, so he’s taking care of it. He just asked if I could help with the research.” Shifting his gaze to the side, he can see how close she is. All he can think is how easy it would be to place a soft kiss on the apple of her cheek.

“Good ol’ Garth. Do you need some help?” She asks, turning her face slightly to look at Sam. Feeling her stomach flip a little, when she catches sight of his hazel eyes. “No, I’ve got it. Thanks though.” He replies, lips curling up a tiny bit. She pulls away from his shoulder and stands up.

“Awesome. Let me know if you change your mind.” Y/N says as she quickly turns and heads back to the kitchen. ‘Note to self: stop it! You shouldn’t be feeling this way. You still have feelings for Dean! Dammit.’ While she’s chastising herself, she doesn’t feel the same eyes she was just staring into following her with the usual look of longing in them, before shifting his attention back to the screen in front of him. Sam doesn’t realize that Dean is looking at him. Having watched the entire exchange and Y/N’s hasty exit.

A thousand questions are running through Dean’s mind. Like why hasn’t he noticed that look before? Why did that exchange between his brother and his ex, look more intimate than it should have? Has Sam always felt that way? Does Y/N feel the same? Are the two of them together? What the hell is going on?

As each question passes through his mind, Dean can’t help but to get a little angry and jealous. Had Y/N really moved on already? Not like he was one to talk, with the parade of women that he’s been waving in front of her. He winces internally. He has been acting like a douche, but that shouldn’t matter. Could she really move on with his own brother? Could he blame her though? While he was off with whoever, the two of them have been sharing rooms on the road and spending more time together. It would make sense that Sam would be cleaning up the mess Dean made of Y/N’s emotions. Emotions she kept hidden from them both, but Sam could see.

“Dinner!” They hear Y/N call from the kitchen. Dean sits a little bit longer, watching Sam close his laptop and heading into the kitchen. When Sam’s cleared the doorway, Dean closes his laptop and rubs a hand over his face. ‘Perfect.’ He thinks as he stands up and heads into the kitchen, where he hears laughter. He stops in the doorway, to find Y/N standing on the counter and Sam holding her steady by her hips, as she grabs the plates from the top shelf.

“We have got to move these down. It’s not fair!” Y/N says while laughing and handing the plates to Sam, who places them on the counter beside her feet and helps her down.

“But it’s so fun watching you climb up there. You’re cute when you try to be independent.” Sam says, stepping away to grab a couple plates, handing one to her, before moving to gather food onto his plate.

Neither have noticed Dean. He sees the blush creep into Y/N cheeks. “Yeah, but one day I’m gonna get hurt, Sam. You’re not always going to be there to catch me in case I fall.”

Sam moves from the food, to let her get some. Standing off to the side of her, watching her for a moment. An intense look in his eyes, “I’ll always catch you.” That causes Y/N to look at him.

Neither of them see Dean turn and head to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be posting each chapter weekly. For now, I have released the first two chapters, but part three will not be up until next Saturday. The entire series is posted on my Wattpad and Tumblr at allaboutthebooz, if you would like to reader ahead.
> 
> Enjoy, guys!
> 
> Feedback is gold!


	3. What's going on?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and the Y/N have been getting closer since they've been home from their last hunt. Dean finally confronts Sam about his feelings for Y/N.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry this is late. I've got behind on my posting schedule because of orders coming in for my Etsy shop, but I'm back and only have one order to fill this week (so far), so everything should be back to normal! So enjoy guys! Remember to check back every Saturday for new chapters being posted. I also new things coming soon, but not until after Christmas.
> 
> Feedback is gold!

The boys and Y/N were home for two weeks since their last case. In those two weeks, She and Sam have been spending more time together. Not intentionally. At least that's what Y/N tells herself. She tells herself that she doesn't purposely look for a reason to look for Sam. She tells herself, that she genuinely needs his help with something, even if it is to reach something in her room, that she put up herself. When she casually walks by his room, pretending that she was headed to the bathroom, she tells herself that she had been meaning to watch whatever new show or movie he had chosen to put on his television, and acts nonchalant when he invites her in.

Sam pretends like he doesn't walk around the bunker looking for her. He pretends he doesn't go out of his way to help her when she cooks meals. He pretends that he doesn't notice, her wearing the smallest pajama shorts and baggy shirts. He pretends that he hasn't counted how many tattoos, he can see poking out from the hem of her clothes. One on the side of her left hip that he sees when she reaches up high for something. Both of her feet, anyone can see those when she isn't wearing socks or shoes. He's noticed quotes on the inside of her biceps, one on each of her forearms, and her outer right wrist. Her biggest one is the Wonder Woman on the front of her right thigh, that's probably his favorite. He hasn't noticed any of that.

They were currently lounging in the "Fortress of Deanitude," binging The Walking Dead. How Y/N had never watched it before, was beyond her. They were already on season four.

"This is by far my favorite episode. Beth and Daryl wandering the woods together. Daryl pretending, he doesn't care. So cute." Y/N says before munching on a twizzler. She's mostly stretched out on the couch, head on the arm rest, knees bent, and feet tucked under Sam's thighs to keep warm.

Sam huffs a laugh. "She's driving him crazy. How is that cute?" Squirming, as she wiggles her toes.

"Because, they're acting just like brother and sister. Daryl is acting like he could care less about everything besides finding the others, but we know that if anything were to happen to Beth, he would never forgive himself. Beth is family. The little sister he never wanted." Y/n explains, while watching the screen intently.

A calm smile crosses Sam's face as he stretches his arm across the back of the couch and turns his head to look at her. He gently shakes his head. "Yeah just what he asked for. To babysit a kid." Flinching with a laugh, as she tossed a twizzler at his head.

"Don't rain on my parade, Sammy!" She says laughing and wiggling her toes, making Sam squirm again. He raises up off the couch a bit, pulls her feet out from under him, and places them in his lap.

They both are settling back down, when Dean moves into the room and stopping behind the couch. "You two better not be breaking anything."

He notices how they are sitting and tries to not let it get to him. Allowing himself to just keep thinking that they're just best friends. Pretends that he doesn't notice the way Sam's hands hold Y/N's feet in place on his lap. Or the look in her eyes as they look at his brother, before shifting over to the tv.

"We're just watching your tv, since it is the best in the bunker." Y/N says turning her head to look at the older brother. A smirk gracing her beautiful face, causing Dean to shift where he stood. Remembering what that mouth can do. Hoping she doesn't notice the change in his stance, he moves to sit in the recliner.

"Damn straight it is." He says, while popping the chair into its laid-back position and getting comfortable. "What are you watching anyways?"

"Uh, The Walking Dead. Y/N begged me to start watching it with her a few weeks before we left for that last case. It's not too terrible. These things have nothing on those things Death brought back from the dead, back when we first met Jody." Sam tells him while stroking his thumb over the top of Y/N's foot.

"Like you haven't been wanting to watch it too, nerd." Y/N says, while tossing the last bite of the candy she was munching on, at Sam again.

"Hey! Would you stop throwing your half-eaten candy at me? I didn't buy it for you, so you could waste it!" Sam replies, laughing and tickling the underside of her feet, causing her to squeal with laughter.

"Okay! I'm sorry! Please don't start that again!" She begs, trying to squirm away from Sam. He stops and allows her to settle herself again. Feet remaining in his lap, smiling at him before shifting her attention back to the television.

Sam, who is still watching Y/N with his own smile, shifts his eyes towards Dean. He had forgotten for a moment that his older brother had been sitting there. He sees the look of being mildly angry in Dean's eyes, clears his throat and shifts his attention back to the tv. Still feeling Dean's attention on him, he begins to wonder why he could be angry. Was it because they had ignored them? Was he mad that they were in his hang out spot? Was it because they have been spending a lot of time together and leaving Dean out?

Y/N pulls her feet from Sam's lap and sits up. "Alright. It's getting late. I'm exhausted. I'm gonna head to bed and see you boys in the morning." She yawns and stretches, before standing up and heading towards to door. "Goodnight!" The guys send her off with a call of their own goodnights.

Once she's out of the room and they hear her bedroom door close, Dean lowers the footrest of his recliner and turns to Sam. "Alright. What's going on with you two?" His voice gruff, as he stares his little brother down.

"What are you talking about? Nothing is going on, Dean. We're just friends. Have been before you two started sleeping together and after when you decided that you'd had enough of her and started pounding into any woman you could find, while she slept in the room next to yours pretending that it wasn't tearing her up inside." Sam says while turning his attention to his brother, making Dean fall silent. "I'm the one who had to keep her smiling and moving, when I could tell that all she wanted to do was curl in on herself and just cry."

"How do you know about all of that? We didn't tell you." Dean asks, looking worried.

His brother huffs a laugh, "No one had to tell me, Dean. I know you better than anyone. We are together 24/7. I could see the changes in you two. I could also hear you." Sam says, with pained eyes.

Dean makes a face. "Sorry."

"Whatever. Besides, what do you care? Based on what I've seen, you're the one that pushed her to the side. You're the one that has been making her feel like she isn't good enough for "the great, Dean Winchester." Sam grumbles.

"I didn't mean to make her feel that way. I just-I just didn't want to hurt her." Dean says while rubbing his hands together.

"And what did you think would happen, when you started sleeping around and acting like her feelings didn't matter?" Sam stands up, growing frustrated.

"She told me she was fine with it! She never let me know that she was feeling the way she was."

"You're an idiot, if you think she was always okay with you ending things! How can you be so dense when it comes to women, Dean?"

"So, what? You're just going to be her knight in shining armor?" Dean stands up, moving to stand a little closer to Sam.

"I'm trying to be her friend, Dean! Which is exactly what she needs."

"Oh, stuff it, Sam! I've seen the way you look at her! I've seen how you to are around each other. I see everything that goes on between you!" Dean throws his arms up.

"It doesn't matter, Dean. It doesn't matter how I feel about her- "

"So, you admit that you have feelings for her!" Dean interrupts.

"Of course, I do!" Sam's voice grows louder, causing them both to stop for a moment to listen out for Y/N. Sam sighs with a shrug. "What do you want me to say, Dean? That I'm sorry for feeling the way I do about her? Because I won't. I've always felt this way about her. Before you two started whatever, it was between you two. Before you went and broke her heart, I was fine with staying away from Y/N. I was fine with it, because you two were happy. It didn't matter how I felt about her, because you were the one that she cared about and thought about. Because you made her happy. She never cared about me, the way she cared about you." Giving Dean his sad puppy dog eyes, before looking down at his feet. Clenching his jaw, he looks back up at his brother, "And since you've been acting like, what you did was no big deal, Y/N and I have gotten closer. We've been spending more time together and I don't know. I'm just happy to be near her." Looking back down at his feet, he turns to leave.

"Sam- " Dean tries to talk to him, causing Sam to turn back around.

"Just don't Dean. You're the one that screwed up. You're the one that let's her get her hopes up every time that you smile at her, only to let her down every night. And yet," Sam gives a sad laugh, "you're the one that she still cares about the most." He shakes his head, turns, and finally leaves. Heading down the hall to his room, slamming the door behind him.

Dean huffs out a sigh, running a hand through his hair.

Both guys, forgetting how thin the walls are. If they knew, they probably would have been quieter. They would know that Y/N had heard everything they were saying. Except, they didn't. She had heard everything. If she wasn't feeling absolutely torn before, she was now. She still cared for Dean. More than she should. And now, ever since she and Sam have become closer, it's like she's seeing him in a whole new light. She's finally seeing how great he is. How sweet and caring. How god damn, good looking he is.

With each of them in their respective rooms, it's safe to say that no one will be sleeping well that night. Each of them tossing and turning. Thinking about everything that was said between the brothers.


	4. I Wish You Would Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N makes a choice.

After spending the entire night tossing and turning, Y/N decided to face the day and crawl out of bed around 6:30 in the morning. Trudging her way to the kitchen, she moves around to make a fresh pot of coffee, knowing that Sam was probably already out for his morning run and that he usually likes having a couple cups after taking a shower. Dean usually wasn’t awake until about 8:30 or 9, so that gave her a little while to herself. After setting everything up with the coffee maker, she sits at one of the steel tables and rubs her hands over her face. Last night’s argument between the Winchester’s, playing over in her head.

Fifteen minutes later, she is so caught up in her thoughts, that she doesn’t hear Dean make his way into the kitchen. “Hey. You’re up early.” His voice still full of sleep, causing her to jump.

“Yeah, I didn’t sleep too great. I could say the same about you. You don’t even consider rolling out of bed, until the smell of bacon hits your nose.”

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t sleep. Too much going on.” Tapping his temple, he makes his way over to the cabinet holding the coffee mugs, pulling two down, he pours them both a cup, and he turns to hand one to Y/N.

Taking the mug and holding it in both hands, letting the warmth settle her nerves a bit. “Thanks. Everything okay? You seemed okay, when I left you and Sam last night.”

“Yeah, sweetheart. Just somethings I need to think about.” He gives her a smile small, before taking a sip of his coffee and settling himself across from her. Y/N watches him for a moment, before taking a sip from her own cup.

‘Just talk to him. You need to figure this out.’ She berates herself. She looks down, taking a deep breath to help steel her nerves before looking back up at the older Winchester. Watching him stare into his cup, she explores his face. Taking in the freckles that span across his nose. His long lashes the protect his storybook, green-hazel eyes. His lips that she had become so familiar with. His perfectly shaped nose. His strong jaw, full of a morning shadow.

Looking down at the dark liquid between her hands, “Dean? Can we talk?” The words, quiet as the leave her lips as she looks back up, determined and nervous.

Dean shifts attention to her. Noticing the look on her face. He shifts his eyes away from her, knowing where this is going to go, before looking back and clenching his jaw. “Yeah, we should. I’m going to take a guess and say that you heard Sam and I talking last night.”

Y/N releases a small laugh. “Kind of hard not to. You two weren’t exactly being quiet.” She presses her lips together and sets her cup aside. “I understand Sam’s side completely. Things have been changing between us ever since you and I ended things, but what I don’t understand is why you care so much? Aside form the fact that he is your brother, what does it matter who I spend my time with? You don’t hear me throwing a fit, every time that you are with someone else.”

He’s quiet for a moment. Thinking about how he can say everything that he wants to, without making things worse. “Ever since I ended things, I’ve wanted to take it all back. We were good together, even if it was a secret.”

“Then why did you end things?” She asks, looking hurt.

“Because I don’t deserve you. You need someone better than me. Someone who can give you a life, that I can’t. I can’t give you the apple pie life.” He tells her, looking away.

She gives him a sarcastic laugh. “I can’t fucking believe you. Leave it to Dean Winchester to break my heart, because he has self-doubts. You always do this to yourself. You always push people away, when things are good.” Her voice starts to shake, tears forming in her eyes. “Instead of wanting to be with me because you were happy, you decided to punish both of us. You should have talked to me, Dean! Instead you made it seem like, I wasn’t good enough for you. Like you had your fun and just decided to toss me out with the trash. And now that things between Sam and I are different, you decide that now is the time to tell me how you really feel. Yeah, I was the one who asked to talk, but that was not what I was expecting.” Y/N sniffs and brings a hand up to roughly wipe away a stray tear.

“Y/N, you have to believe that I never wanted to make you feel that way.” Dean tries reaching out for her, but she pulls back from him. His own eyes growing a red around the rims.

“You had a great way of showing me. Parading around with those women, in every town we came across. You didn’t even consider how I was feeling. You just left with them. Made Sam and I share a room every night. Making me hear all the things you were doing to them. Making me remember how that used to be me. Making me hate you, because of how easy you just tossed me aside and moved on to the next best thing. You made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, Dean! You made me wonder what I was doing wrong! Asking myself, why you didn’t care about me anymore? Making me love you, when all you did was ruin me. And now that I’m starting to move on and be okay with myself, you have to mess everything up.” She finished as she just looks at him with tears moving down her face.

“Y/N/N, I’m so sorry. If I could take everything back and start over, I would do it in a heartbeat.” He stands to move around the table to try and comfort her, but she stands up and moves back.

“Don’t Dean! Just don’t. We were happy. You made me fall in love with you and then you just ripped my heart out of my chest and all you can say is that you’re sorry.” She shakes her head, wiping her hand under her nose.

“What else do you want me to say, Y/N? That I fucked up. That I let the best thing, that has ever happened to me, go because I’m so screwed up in the head? That I love you? Because I do, dammit! I do, and it is tearing me up inside, watching you with Sam.” Raising his arms in defeat, a stray tear escaping.

“Maybe you should have thought about that, before you threw me away.” Her voice a whisper of defeat. Her eyes sad and wet. Taking in a deep breath, to try and ease the weight on her chest, she starts moving away from him. “I think we’re done. I can’t do this anymore. I thought-I thought that maybe if we talked, we would figure everything out, but I don’t think we can. You broke us, Dean. Now, just let me try and be happy.” She looks down for a moment, gathering her thoughts. When she looks back up at him, he can tell something has changed inside of her. “I found a case a couple towns over. It should be a simple salt and burn. I can take care of it myself. So I’m gonna uh-I’m gonna take care of. Think things over.”

“So you’re just gonna leave? You’re not even try to finish talking to me?” Dean asks her, growing frustrated.

“Yeah, Dean. I have a lot to think about and I can’t do that here. Stuck between you guys. I can’t. I’m going to go take a shower and pack and I’ll probably get on the road within the next few hours.” Y/N turns and starts to leave the kitchen.

“Y/N/N-“ Dean says, trying to stop her.

“Just let me go, please.” Ending the conversation by leaving the room and heading towards her room. Tears still rolling, her breathing coming in hiccups as she passes Sam in the War Room.

He goes to greet her as she tries to rush by him. “Woah, hey.” He catches her arm in his hand. “What’s wrong? What happened?” He turns Y/N to get a good look at her.

“Nothing. I’m gonna shower and head out. There’s a case in Lyons, I’m going to take care of it. Should be a week or so.” Pulling her arm from Sam’s grasp, she starts to move to her room.

“Wait, what? What the hell happened while I was gone?” He asks her, trying to get answers.

“Maybe you should ask Dean.” Is all she says, while heading down the hall and closing her door.

Sam looks towards the hall where Y/N disappeared into, before turning his attention to the kitchen and moving that way. He stops in the doorway, to see Dean sitting at the table, with his head in his hands. “What the hell happened?” He asks, causing Dean to look at him.

“Don’t worry about it, Sam.”

“Don’t worry about it? Y/N just stormed through bunker in tears. What the fuck did you say to her?” He asks his older brother, growing angry. “And why is she heading out on her own, for a case? She has never done that.”

Sighing, Dean stands up and walks the two coffee mugs to the sink before turning and leaning against it. “We just had a long overdue conversation and it didn’t end well. If you want all the juicy details, ask her.” He kicks off the sink and pushes past Sam, leaving the kitchen. A minute later, Sam hears Dean’s door, slamming shut.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Sam opens the door to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water. Downing half of it before heading try and talk to Y/N. He finds her door open as she is moving around, gathering things for her trip. He stands in her doorway, watching her.

“If you’re going to just stand there, you can leave. If you want to help me, can you grab my laptop and charger and put it in my bookbag?” Y/N says while not turning to face him.

Feeling embarrassed that he got caught, he straightens up and moves over to her desk to gather what she asked for before moving over to her bed where her bag rested. Neatly putting everything inside of it, he looks up at Y/N. The sad look still on her face, even as she tries to hide behind an emotionless mask, while she folds her clothes before putting them in her duffle bag.

“Want to talk about it?” He asks her, gently. She stills for a moment, before continuing her folding.

Clearing her throat, “I don’t know, Sam. I feel like I need to process everything before unloading it on you.” She says, pulling her eyes away from her task and looking at the dark-haired man, standing in her room.

“Okay. I get it.” He responds quietly. Looking at her, with those eyes.

“It’s not because I don’t want to tell you, Sam. I just have a lot to think about it. I need to sort through everything that is going through my mind.” Telling him with a sad smile.

“Okay. Well, do you want me to go with you? I don’t mind helping. I could stand to get out of the Bunker for a while.” He asks, hoping that she’ll give in.

Sighing, she looks back to her clothes and starts putting them inside the duffle bag. “I don’t know, Sam. I think I need a few days to myself.” She doesn’t have to look at him, to feel the rejection coming off him.

He just watches her, hurt. He doesn’t say anything, causing her to look up at him through her soft lashes. “Okay. I’ll tell you what. Give me two days on my own, and then you can join me. I just need a couple days to figure everything out. It shouldn’t take me long, to get this case done. It’s just a salt and burn. Easy stuff to do on my own. I’ll call you though. I’m gonna need my best guy behind his laptop.” Giving him a small smile, with a simple shrug. Her smile growing a little more as she watches some of the light the left him, return at her offer.

“Yeah, I guess that is okay. I just hate the idea of you being out there on your own.” Returning her smile.

She laughs lightly, music to Sam’s ears. “I’m not completely helpless. I haven’t worked on something by myself, since I moved in with you guys. Not because I can’t, I just like being you.”

“Yeah, I know. Just promise me that you’ll be okay.” Once again, giving her the sad eyes.

Rolling her own eyes, “Of course, Sam! I’ve got too much to live for. We’ll talk about everything when you meet up with me. I promise.” Both moving around the bed, to meet in the middle of her room.

“Alright. I guess that’s good enough for me.” He tells her, before leaning down to gather her in his arms. With her arms around his shoulders, she buries her face in his neck and breathes him in. His arms wrapped tightly around her middle, nose buried in hair, taking in her lavender/vanilla perfume.

Pulling back, he helps her gather her bags before they both walk to the garage where her truck sits. After the bag are settled in the back seat, he opens the driver side door and climbs in. “Call me when you get there. Let me know what you’re working with.” He says as he closes the door.

Turning the engine over and rolling the window down, she looks at him with a smile. “I will, Sam. Try not to throw a party while I’m gone.” Causing him to laugh.

“Right. Like that will happen. Bye Y/N/N.” He tells her with a pat on the door.

She takes a second before responding, weighing her options. “Bye, Sammy.” Leaning out the window and up towards him, leaving a kiss on his cheek, before pulling away with one last smile and a wave. Popping the truck into drive, she pulls away from him and out of the garage. Sam watching after her the whole time, with a look of mild shock on his face. The touch of her lips, lingering against his skin.


	5. You've Got To Move On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come between the brothers become tense, while Y/N is gone.

The Bunker isn't the same without Y/N around. Dean and Sam can feel it. It's only been a day since she headed out and they both already want her back. It's quiet. The usual interaction between the brothers has come to a necessity.

Sam is mad at Dean. He knows it. He can tell in the way they interact. The clipped responses to any questions or suggestions Dean tries to offer him. The avoidance of eye contact. The tension that rises in Sam's shoulders as soon as he hears Dean coming into the same room. Sam knows it's childish, but she doesn't care. The way he sees it, is that it is Dean's fault that Y/N decided to take a case by herself. He still doesn't know what was said between them while he was off on his run, but he knows it hurt them both. He can still see her tear stained face and her broken heart on her shoulder. He can still hear the defeat in his brother's voice when he confronts him about it.

Dean's sitting in his entertainment room, when he hears Sam laugh through the wall. He mutes the television. He knows that Sam is on the phone with her. She hasn't called Dean. Not even a text to let him know that she made it. It's been a day and a half since they talked. Is he mad that Y/N can't even stand the idea to let him know that she's okay? A little. Is he upset that she has no problem calling his brother? Hell yeah. But there is nothing he can do about it. All he can do is wait, until she decides to come home and talk to him.

"So, everything's going okay? Did you find the grave?" He hears Sam ask her, followed by silence.

"Well have you found anything that the spirit could be attached to...A Map? Who attaches themselves to a map?" Sam laughs. "Well, I'm glad you were able to take care of it. I guess you didn't need me there after all." Dean grips the remote tighter, in his hand. "Are you still okay with me coming out there to meet up with you? Uh, yeah. Of course, I'll head out in the morning and should get to you in a few hours. Just text me the name of motel that you're staying at."

'He's going to see her? She can't even pick up the phone to call me, but she's letting him come out there?' Dean asks himself, growing angrier by the second.

"Alright. Well I'll call you when I leave. We can figure everything out when I get there." He hears Sam finishing up the conversation with Y/N and decides he's heard enough. He shuts the tv off and tosses the remote across the room. He stands up and heads to the War Room. Pacing between the tables before leaning against one. A few minutes later, he hears Sam shuffle into the room.

"Hey. So, uh, Y/N's got everything under control." Sam pauses when he sees the rigid stance he finds Dean in. "Everything okay?" He asks cautiously.

"Yeah everything is just peachy." Dean responds sarcastically. "Did you know that these walls are pretty thin? That anything above a whisper can be heard?" He stands up straight and squares his shoulders, jaw clenched.

"And? It's a pretty old building, Dean. A lot of places have thin walls." Sam shifts form foot to foot. Watching his brother.

"So then, you know I could hear your entire conversation with Y/N? Who hasn't talked to me since before she left, by the way." Dean says, moving around the table.

"That's my problem Dean. I don't know what you two talked about, but I do know that it was enough to make her leave." Sam tells him, standing tall.

"Do you want to know what we talked about? We talked about how she could hear everything that you and I were talking about the night before she left. We talked about, how we loved each other, but I screwed everything up. How she was through with me. How she was ready to move on. How she just wants to be happy." Dean moves slowly towards Sam, seeing the look of realization cross his face.

"She heard everything." Sam asks.

"Oh yeah. She heard everything. So, she knows everything." Dean comes to a stop a few feet away from Sam. Watching him sort through everything. "But she must feel something for you, if she's willing to let you join her. Especially, when she told me that she needed a week or so by herself. So, help me to understand, how there isn't anything going on between you two."

Sam sighs, "There isn't anything going on, Dean. I told you. We're just friends. Yeah, I care about her as more than a friend and maybe she feels the same way, but it's none of your business what we do. Like you said, you're the one who screwed up. She had to deal with deal with that pain for along time. Now that she's starting to feel happy again, you're just going to keep that from her? Even if it's your own brother, who could make her happy? What are you going to do? Keep us from seeing each other? You're not her father, Dean." Sam shrugs. "At best, you were her lover."

Sam can see the anger rising in his older brother's eyes.

"At least, I'm not her lap dog."

"I'm not doing this with you, Dean. I don't know what's gotten in to you, but you have no right to try and be possessive of Y/N. You gave that up, when you pushed her away." Sam says, trying to move around Dean and put an end to the conversation, but Dean wasn't having it.

Finally, letting the anger, that he has been feeling for the past week, take over. He grabs Sam by the shirt and spins him around, catching him off balance and throwing a punch to his face. Sam stumbles back. Hand to his face, that is covered in pain and then shock.

"Are you serious? You want to try and fight over her? That's not going to make her choose you. I'm not doing this." Sam watches his brother with caution. Trying to keep his anger under control. "I'm heading on in the morning. Maybe giving you some space is what you need. You need to realize, that you're the one who's wrong. Not me. I don't know what's wrong with you, but this isn't you, Dean."

Sam forgets his mission for the kitchen and exchanges it for his room. Opening his phone and shooting off a text, before slamming his door. Leaving Dean seething where he stood. He turns and swipes everything off the table closest to him. "Son of a bitch!" He roars. Marching to the garage and hopping in Baby. Hoping a drive will cool him off.

~~

"He just hit you? Are you kidding me?" Y/N asks Sam over the phone.

"Yeah. I don't know what's going on with him."

"I'm sorry, Sam. This is my fault. I should have talked to him. Maybe he wouldn't be taking it out on you, if I had."

"No, Y/N/N. This isn't you fault. Dean just needs to think about everything." He tells her, hoping to reassure her. He hears her sigh. "Maybe I should head out sooner. Give him some space."

"That's up to you, Sam. I'm gonna be here either way. I know we said that we would figure out what we would do when you got here, but maybe if you leave tonight, we could grab some dinner and then hit the road. We're a little more than half a day from New Orleans. I've always wanted to go." He can hear a smile in her voice, causing one to crawl across his face.

"A road trip? Just for the heck of it?" He asks her.

"Yeah, why not? When's the last time that you just went on a trip for the hell of it?" He stays quiet. "That's what I thought. I mean, we can head that way and if we happen to catch wind of anything going bump in the night on the way, we take care of it. That way it's not a complete and total vacation."

Sam sighs, "What the hell. Let's do it. I'll pack up and leave in an hour or so. Do you need any more clothes?"

"Maybe a few more jeans and a sweater. Just bum a car, that way we won't have to worry about two cars and we can take my truck." She tells him, excitement in her voice.

"I'll see what I can do." His own excitement growing, causing his stomach to flip.

"Okay. Just text me when you leave, and I'll see you when you get here."

"Alright, Y/N/N. I will."

"Okay. Bye Sammy."

"Bye." He waits for her end to go dead, before hanging up. Internally, tossing a fist in the air.

He starts moving around his room and begins to pack. The conversation he just had with Y/N playing in his head. A smile on his face. Then he can hear, Dean in the back of his head. Telling him how she had heard everything that they talked about. Did that mean that she felt the same? Should he get his hopes up? He tells himself not to, but the seed has been planted. If she really wanted time by herself, she wouldn't have suggested, that he join her. Right?

Sam manages to pack up and head out in thirty minutes. Making the short walk into town, he finds a car. Shooting off a text to Y/N, that he was on his way.

~~

Two hours later, Sam rolls into the parking lot of the two-story motel that Y/N is staying in. He called her when he was five minutes away, so that she would be ready for him. He steps out of the stolen car and stretches.

"Hey stranger." He hears her say, causing him to follow the voice and look up. He finds her leaning both hands on the rail, smiling down at him. He smiles back.

"Hey." He notices a few bruises and cuts scattered across her arms and a couple on her face. "I thought you said, it was an easy ghost?"

She looks down at herself. "It was, but you know you're doing your job right, if the bastard decides you toss you around a bit." Looking back at him with a smirk. He laughs and shakes his head. "Do you want to get settled first and then go eat? Or eat and come back?" She asks him, crossing her arms against the rail.

"I could eat. Probably need to dump this somewhere." He tells her, patting the roof of the car.

"True. Let me grab my jacket and we can go. You can move your stuff to the truck, it's open." Y/N says before turning to go inside the room. He unloads the car, tosses his bags into the bed of her truck as she comes down the stairs. He turns to her and reaches down to hug her.

"There's a diner in town. We can dump the car in an alley and go eat." She tells him as she pulls back to look at him.

"Sounds good. I'll follow you." Walking to their respective vehicles and pulling out of the lot.


	6. We Should Talk

Sam follows Y/N into town, pulling into a dark alley, while she parks on the curb to wait for him. Both smiling at each other when he climbs in.

Y/N sings along to a country song on the radio, eyes focused on the road, and a content look on her face.

"You seem better. When you left, I wasn't sure if you would call me." Sam admits, causing her attention to shift towards him for a moment before looking back at the road.

"Well, I've had a chance think. I feel like I've finally made a few decisions. Besides, I couldn't not talk to you."

Sam looks down at his lap, feeling his cheeks grow a little warm.

"Well I'm glad." They both look at each other.

"Me too." Y/N says as she pulls into the parking lot for the diner she was talking about. They both climb out and head inside. Sitting in a booth in the corner, Sam takes a moment to really look at her. Like it was the first time, he was seeing her in years. Her hair pulled back into a messy bun, with pieces falling around her face. Her eyes brighter and full of life. Freckles scattered across her face. A small amount of makeup, covering her face to hide the bruise on her cheek. Unless, you knew it was there, you couldn't see it. Her plump bottom lip, split. Her leather jacket removed and laid in the seat next to her. Her cropped Metallica shirt and dark wash jeans, exposing just enough stomach. Her tattoos peeking out from under the sleeves of her shirt. It's like he forgot how beautiful she was, in the day and half since he last saw her.

She looks up at him and he quickly looks down at his menu. Hearing her laugh under her breathe. Feeling her staring at him, he looks back up at him. "Hiya, Sammy." A beaming smile on her face.

"Hey, Y/N/N."

Before they can say anything else, a waitress comes over and takes their order. Chicken fingers, fries, and a coke for her. A chicken sandwich with lettuce, tomato, and mayo with a side of fries and a water for him.

"So, besides today, how have things been at home?" Y/N asks him, once the waitress walks away to put their order in.

"Uh, pretty tense." Sam tells her, clearing his throat and leaning back in his seat. He sees her brows come together in confusion.

"Really? I'm sorry. I should have just stuck it out and tried to at least get on a mutual ground with Dean. I didn't think about it being that way for you." Leaning back herself and crossing her arms over her chest.

"I understand why you left. After talking to him today, I realize that he needs to figure things out for himself. Just like you did."

The waitress brings their drinks to the table. Both giving their thanks.

"Yeah, but I just don't understand why he thinks that hitting you, is a way to do that." Y/N takes a sip of her drink.

"I think it has just been building up inside of him for a while now and he heard me talking to you on the phone. And I went to go talk to him after we hung up and he just unloaded."

Shaking her head, "Unloaded? I thought it was just one hit."

"It was, but before then we had quite a bit to say to each other." Sam tells her. He can see a light go off and a question forming in her mind. He already knows what it is. "He told me, that you heard us arguing the night we were in his tv room. That you heard everything I said."

Her mouth suddenly dry, she takes another sip of her coke. "Yeah. Yeah, Sam. I did." Looking around the diner, she notices they're the only ones there besides the staff. "I was hoping to wait until we got back to have this conversation, but I guess now is a good time." She says, looking down at her hands.

"We don't have to. We can wait." He tries to reason with her.

"We really can't. I don't want things to be awkward until we do." She takes a deep breath. Watching Sam take a drink of his water. Catching sight of their food coming, she waits until the waitress leaves them alone again. "I told you I had a lot to think about while I was gone. I didn't think it would be so easy. I thought I would need longer. I thought I was going to have to tell you to give me another day, but when I talked to you earlier, I knew I had made up my mind."

Sam swallows and watches her. Letting her take her time to explain.

"I knew that when I finally got some answers from Dean, that there was no way I could be with him. He went about everything the wrong way. He made me feel worthless, yet he says he was doing it because he cared too much. Like usual, he pushed me away because he had self-doubts. That it was better to just screw around and break my heart, than talk to me." Y/N takes a second to munch on fry. "When I told him how I felt, he told me he loved me." A scoff leaves her mouth. "If he really loved me, he wouldn't have treated me the way he did. I told him this and he kept going on. Saying that he couldn't stand to see you and I growing so close, but it's his fault. If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't be spending so much time together. I know you told him that too, Sam. So, I told him we were done. There is no future for us."

Both just sit there looking down at their plates and eating for a few minutes. Gathering their thoughts. The quiet music of the diner, filling the space between them.

"So, the only thing I truly had to figure out, was you." They both look at each other. "You have always been a constant the past few years, Sam. Any time that I've ever needed anything, you were right there. Always there to make me laugh. To help me up, when I was down. You are always willing to hang out. We have so much in common. You're so smart and brave. You've done so much for this world and no one will ever know, but you don't care. You have one of the biggest hearts. You saw me after Dean ended things. I never said anything, but I didn't have to, because you know me so well. Before your fight with Dean, I had already started to think that I was wrong all along. Yeah, I love dean, but I must move on. He broke me, but you've been the one putting me back together. Just being with you, has made everything so much better. I just didn't realize it, until now." Y/N sighs, pushing her plate away.

"I know. Before you and Dean, I was going to talk to you, but then I heard you guys. I don't know how long it had been happening before then, but I knew I had to leave it alone. You both were happy. I was willing to sacrifice my happiness for you and Dean. You two are all that I have, why wouldn't I want you to be happy." He can see the look of regret filling her face before the rim around her eyes turn red and the whites turn glassy.

"I'm so stupid. God, I'm so stupid." She says, putting her elbows on the table and burying her face in her hands. He reaches over and takes her hands. Her face wet from the tears. Her nose becoming red. And yet, she was still beautiful.

"You're not stupid. Dean is stupid. I'm stupid, but you are not stupid. You thought everything was going great with Dean and he threw it away because he doesn't believe in himself. I should have told you how I felt."

She shakes her head. "I don't think it would have mattered, Sam. I was so wrapped up in him. I would have just broken your heart. I would have hated myself for that. Not that I already don't. I should have known how you felt. I should have opened my eyes and seen how I felt. I should have seen that it wasn't going to last with Dean. Nothing ever lasts with Dean."

He reaches a hand across and wipes her cheek dry. "It's not your fault. We're just one big mess. You love Dean and it's going to take time to get over that. When you do, I'll still be here. I'm not going anywhere. Even if you decide, that things can't change between us. I don't want you to rush anything. You need a friend right now, and that's what I'm going to be." He stands up and moves to her side of the booth. Scooting her over and settling in beside her. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders, he pulls her to him. She throws her arm across his middle and rests her head on shoulder. Sniffling, she tries to stop her tears.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I wish I could give you more right now, but I can't." She tilts her head to look at him. He keeps his focus forward, he waits until he feels her settle her head away from him, before turning towards her head. Laying a kiss in her hair and just breathing her in and looking out the diner window.

"Don't apologize. Just take your time. Like I said, I'm not going anywhere. You're my best friend, first and foremost. We'll get some rest tonight and head out for Louisiana in the morning. We'll spend a few days there and work some cases when we get back." He just feels her nod.

They sit there for what feels like hours, neither noticing the black impala sitting across the street, watching them.


	7. Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean takes a drive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is shorter, but it's a HUUUUUGGGGEEEE part! We finally start to see what is going on with Dean!

When Dean left the Bunker after his fight with Sam, he drove around for a while. He was driving through town, when he caught sight of his little brother walking down the street with a few bags in hand. He pulled Baby to the curb and watched as Sam, found a car and easily popped open the door. Messing with the wires until it roared to life and he could hop inside. Dean realized that he was going to meet up with Y/N. His Y/N.  
Feeling himself growing angry at the thought, he makes a rash decision to follow Sam. Keeping a few cars between them, but still able to keep eyes on the car he had stolen. For two hours, Dean allowed him to obsess over every worst-case scenario between them. He didn’t believe for a second that things were as simple as Sam told him, they were. He knew they were sleeping together. Believing that Y/N never meant the words she had said to him. She didn’t love him. She just wanted to move from one brother to the other. Good thing Adam was still locked in the cage, or else she would finish up with Sam quickly and go for him too.  
By the time that Sam pulled off the exit and pulled into a motel parking lot, Dean was shaking with rage. He pulls the sleek black vehicle to the side of the road, hidden in the dark. Watching Y/N smile down at his brother as the talked, just made him grow sick. He watches her go back in her room for a minute as Sam piles his bags in the trunk of her car, before she climbs down the stairs to greet the 6’4” giant with a hug. They talk for another minute before climbing in their cars and pulling out of the lot.  
He follows them through town, watches Sam dump the stolen car and climb in Y/N’s truck. Follows them to a diner, where he parks his own car in a dark alley across the street and watches as they find a booth in the corner. Watches as Sam stares at her, like she was the most precious thing in the world. Which she was, but she wasn’t for Sam. She was Dean’s. As pissed as he was at her, she was still the most important thing in his life. He would go to the ends of the Earth for her. He would kill for her.  
He watches them talking, watches the conversation turn serious and Y/N begins to cry, putting her face in her hands. He almost climbs out of Baby and storms through the diner with guns blazing. He would kill for her. He would kill for her. He would kill for her. Even if it was his own brother, he would kill for her. He’s pissed that his brother made her cry. He’s even more pissed when he sees Sam comfort her. Reaching across the table to touch her. He feels his breathing growing heavy. Not his to touch. Not his to touch. Dean’s gripping the steering wheel so tight, he feels like it will crumble in his hands. He almost rips it out of place, when he sees Sam stand up and move to Y/N’s side of the booth to sit with her and pulls her close to his side. Not his to touch. Not his to touch. Not his to touch.   
He would kill for her. Kill anyone who touches her. Even if it’s his own brother. He would kill for her. Not his to touch. Mine. Mine. Mine.  
Seething, he starts the engine of the Impala and pulls out of the alley. Heading back to the motel that she’s staying at, he parks around back. He climbs the stairs and heads to the door he saw her come in and out of. Picking the lock, quickly and quietly, he pushes the door open. He shuts the door and stands in the dark for moment. Chest heaving with anger. Flipping on the lights, he sees her things scattered around the room. He spots her bags in the corner and walks over to them. Pulling a few pieces of clothes out and bringing them to his nose, smelling her.   
Rrrriiiiiiiiippppp  
Pulling more clothes out, he does the same thing. And again. And again. And again. Until her bags are empty. He moves towards the bathroom, where he finds her soaps and hair-care. He pulls his knife out from his boot. Stabbing each bottle multiple times, watching as their insides fell out. He turns to the mirror, Smashing it with one solid punch. Satisfied when pieces fall and shatter to the ground. He moves back into the room and sees the single bed. Stabbing the pillows and shredding them apart. Feathers everywhere. Throwing the blankets and sheets on the floor. Slicing the mattress and pulling the springs out. Tossing the bedside lamp to the ground, watching the lights dim.  
He looks around the room at the damage he’s done. Spotting the innocent television across from the best, he walks over, swipes it to the ground, and stomps it, feeling it smash under his boot. Breathing heavy, he gives the room a final look, not feeling satisfied enough. He spots the wall above the bed. Stalking over, he runs the knife over the palm of his hand and begins to write on the wall, using the blood spilling from his hand. He writes just one word.  
Mine.  
When he’s finished, he leaves the room and the mess he made, behind him. Closing the door once more, as though he had never been there. All the while, the silhouette of a woman hides in the shadows, basking in the obsession and jealousy that she has brought forth inside of the man.


End file.
